i remember very distinctly this one time, in p3, when i turned to my mum and said 'i have more friends than i can count on one hand!'
that's a bit applicable again, given that i think?? i have 7 friends but also what are friends and is it hurtful to say someone's not your friend given that you're both 15 going on 16 and also, you'd like to be private.
and kind of are?
also it's hard to care enough but at the same time not care too much because i linger on the latter too often ((all my life lmao)) and it's a bit sickening i'd like to set myself apart but i cannot because i'm not capable of detachment but i would love to be able to detach myself fml amirite
bye

 hi i needed to vent

i'm so stressed out about how people can present their thoughts as well as have them in an introspective manner? i feel like i'm thinking shallowly all the time and i think as an effect of this (bitterness maybe?) i believe, initially, that 'deep' things are 'tryhard' things. and it's stressful i don't know i'm trying but there's this thing about thinking that it's difficult to be meta about it, or, more accurately, be meta and use that meta-ness to effect a change.

fitting first post, i guess.